


Killing me softly

by rainbowdots888



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Blood, Fate, Fluff and Angst, Gang Violence, Gangsters, M/M, Romance, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 02:02:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8602903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowdots888/pseuds/rainbowdots888
Summary: Ryo was an average gangster before he met Ohkura. Then everything changed, for the better and the worse.





	

The day Ryo had met the other, he was in a great mood. If he had been wiser, he would have listened to his suspicious mind. Now that he thinks about it, it almost makes him laugh. If only he could still laugh. His breath is hissing and the pain on his side is tearing his soul apart. He is lying on the concrete floor, and the cold of december is slowly creeping up his limbs, invading his body, underneath his clothes. The other's beautiful hand is already cold in his. He slightly moves his head to get a better view of his belly. Red everywhere. Blood.

He knows that it's over.

He laughs, finally. A crazy sound coming out of his throat, roaring like the thunder when the sky is upset.

****************

The beautiful light of that september afternoon is warming up his body as Ryo strolls around the small streets of Tokyo. His Boss has given him a mission, an easy one, and he counts on this moment alone to take some good time. He has already stopped at a bar to drink a beer and plans on visiting another he knows, famous for its very welcoming hostesses. He just got hold of the money he was charged with recovering and walks at a good pace, whistling an old tune he loves.

That's when a huge commotion happens, on his left, in a restaurant. People are screaming and he can hear broken plates and glasses hitting the floor. A huge guy wearing a white apron kicks the door open and throws another man out of his place, right on Ryo's precious snake skin shoes.

“Don't come back ! Never ! You're fired !” Screams the giant, before slamming the door shut.

Ryo clicks his tongue. He hates it when strangers ruin his expensive and stylish shoes. And the young man that has been thrown out is not in a hurry to stand and remove his weight from the delicate form of the leather.

Said man groans a little and turns to lie on his back, on the still wet asphalt. He has a lip bruised and a black eye that turns more purple every second.

“You okay, dude ?” Tentatively asks Ryo, poking the other's shoulder with the tip of his shoe.

“Do I look like so ?” Mumbles the lying man. His hand goes up to his forehead, blocking the sun from his eyes. He's beautiful, and he looks lost, very lost.

Ryo would like to walk by and leave, because he's sure there should be a neon sign flashing 'troubles' glowing above this man. But something in him is battling this urge to run away, something located between his heart and his groin, he is not so sure anymore. Helpless, he sees his right hand reach out and grab the other's arm. He does his best to pull him up to his feet, cursing under his breath at how heavy the young man is for him.

“Thanks, man.” he says, once on his feet. He has a cute and naive smile that makes him shine. Ryo is done for.

****************

When he has a mission outside now, Ryo does not stop anymore at his favorite bar, nor does he visit the charming hostesses. His current thing is to seat for hours in a lame coffee shop listening to the man he kind of rescued a few weeks ago. As long as he picks up the money, his Boss doesn't complain. One of his friends of the gang did mention once that he had not been seen at the bar for a while and made it a joke about a miracle rehab, or something in that taste. Needless to say, he laughed at the joke. Just to show he is still part of the group.

He knows the other's name now. Ohkura. He wants to be called by his last name and Ryo is not a man to protest. Everyone calls him Nishikido at the gang, anyway. It's the same.

They talk for hours. Well, the young man talks for hours. And he listens. Now, he knows every single detail of the other's lousy little life and is somewhat fascinated at how such a pretty boy managed to fuck up his existence that much. Because he's not just pretty, he's clever as well. He has his gorgeous mouth full of complex words and ideas, most of them too obscure for Ryo's understanding.

They made friends, kind of, and this feeling is quite new for him who usually thinks his only friends are the ones who can beat someone to death if it means saving his ass. He doubts Ohkura can do that. And Ryo wouldn't want those graceful hands to be tainted with blood.

****************

They desperately need someone clever at the gang headquarters. Well, they are clever... they know how to survive and who to respect in that world, on instinct. But they are not good with words and numbers. So to help his new friend – and to spend more time with him, but he wouldn't confess that to anyone – he has introduced him to the Boss.

His revered Boss is a cunning little man, moving around like a weasel in his world of foxes. He goes by the name of Shibutani san, but everyone calls him Boss. And Ryo can see that he likes the young man at first sight, he sees the potential of that naive boy to second him intellectually. That's how a month after having been fired with a kick in the ass, Ohkura finds another job, a lot more shady but also rewarding, money-wise. It's trivial, but he needs the money and knows where his interests lie.

Today, Ryo is ecstatic : they were both assigned a mission together. They have to guard the headquarters for the night and the mere idea of being alone next to Ohkura for a whole night makes his insides tremble in expectation. He doesn't want to expect too much but this feeling reminds him the minutes just before his birthday, when he was a little boy and his mom gave him the present. He had one present, only one in the year, they were not that rich, you see. So when the hour approached he was so excited that he became all clumsy and stupid and his brothers made fun of him. It's a good memory that makes him warm and fuzzy inside. Exactly like the few moments he has already spent with Ohkura.

They are now alone in the silent building. They're in the Boss' office, a large old fashioned room with a dim lighting. The wallpaper is brownish and faded by the years where no frame is hanging. It smells like warm leather, paper dust and cigarettes but it's rather comfy to spend the night. Ohkura walks around, puts some papers in order and sits on the desk, in front of Ryo who's relaxing in the Boss' seat.

“Did you read that book I recommended you the other day ?” asks the young man, ready for an endless conversation. His eyes are shining even in the faint light, he is gorgeous and Ryo has clearly identified this feeling that makes his heart flutter everytime the other is close. He wants him. But instead of taking roughly what he wants, like he always does, tonight he's inclined to try subtlety. Ohkura is too precious to waste. He clears his throat, blocked up by years of heavy smoking and answers with the deepest voice he has in store.

“Nah... I prefer when you tell me stories. I'm no good with books anyway.”

“Oh, please. Spare me... You just never tried. Right ?” Ohkura smiles, he has fun. Ryo is lost, he doesn't want to say that he has trouble reading, that he never learnt properly and struggles everyday with that. “Anyway, it's not a problem, I can help you...”

It sounds like the young man understood the problem in the blink of an eye, seeing the confusion on his face. And just for that Ryo thinks that he may be falling in love for real, like in the shitty movies for girls.

“Yeah... It'd help.” He doesn't want to look at the other in the eyes, he feels a little shameful now.

“Say... Ryo ?”

“Hn ?”

“I don't care.”

“About ?”

“If you can't read, I don't care. I can read for myself.” He moves, and gracefully sits on Ryo's lap. The latter panics inside, he doesn't know where to put his hands and where to look. Ohkura is now very close to his body and he can feel the warmth of his chest and legs radiate. He's made dumb by the situation and he'd like to be able to say it's the first time someone makes him stupid like this. That he can't help it.

Ohkura takes his hands and slowly brings them on him, on his waist. Ryo lets him. He's kind of paralyzed still when the young man puts his lips on his. Their mouths touch, softly. There is a chaste kiss at first, and it's all that Ryo's body waited for because soon, he is kissing this coveted mouth fully. His hands are awake again and they start working on Ohkura's shirt, skillfully undoing the annoying buttons, to reveal a perfectly toned chest.

The other's body is amazingly responsive and he can feel low hums of pleasure transmitted through Ohkura's lips. They are both turning bold and crazy, nibbling and kissing each other, forgetful of the place and time.

The young man breaks the embrace for a second. He takes a deep breath and with a slightly broken voice says :

“My point is... I wanna be with you. I don't care about what you did or didn't do. You don't know how to read ? Not a problem. You beat and steal people for a living ? I don't mind. You don't know what a quadratic equation is ? Meh. As long as you know how to love me... I don't fucking care.”

Ryo wouldn't have imagined that such a long sentence could one day make him hornier that he had ever been in his life. But truth is, it's not anyone who is saying those words, any mouth chanting that amazing music.

Ohkura is still sitting on his lap and it's quite uncomfortable. So he stands up, holding the other in his arms – surprisingly, he's not heavy anymore – and lays him down on the desk. It's a little cold but Ryo knows he is going to do his best to warm the other up.

He feasts on that velvety skin, that body completely, utterly offered to him. There is no more fear, no more questions when the other's legs shamelessly come open for him and he can finally experience how Ohkura feels around him. His lover may be an intellectual but he seems to know very well how these things are done and gives his best every second. His slender hips are coming up in rhythm to meet Ryo's powerful thrusts and despite the lack of comfort, his voice fills their ears with delightful sounds. Ohkura keeps speaking, even in that situation, encouraging, demanding for more, for strength. He lets past his lips some profanities in a shaky voice that sounds perfect at that moment and Ryo is glad to oblige, to give him what he needs, to connect again and again until he can't control anything anymore and his thrusts become erratic and incredibly pleasurable. His mind explodes and he ultimately exults, looking at the young man right in the eyes.

In that office, because Ohkura is so gorgeous and perfect, made just for him, he feels like giving him what he never gave to another man. He takes him in his mouth, reproducing what he usually loves, what he is sometimes eagerly given by the lost souls who share his bed.

A few seconds into it and the other is moaning again. So loud, he's so loud, Ryo thinks. He loves that. He is proud to make such a beautiful being that desperate for him. Thankfully, it's very late and no one else is present in the building. He keeps giving to the other, without a second thought, just because for once, he wants to share.

His back arched against the cold metal of the desk and his legs contracted by the pleasure spasms resting on Ryo's shoulders , Ohkura comes in his mouth. Suddenly and strongly, his orgasm sends tremors through both of their bodies, shaking the things on the desk. His mouth opens on a silent moan and his fingers furrow Ryo's scalp.

Ryo looks at Ohkura, still shaking, and instantly understands tenderness.

They were made to meet each other. Ohkura is perfect.

_He'll kill me one day. Softly._

****************

Ryo spends most of his nights at the other's place now. It's a short walk away from the office and it's small enough for them to stay close, very close to each other. There are books everywhere, piled up on the floor in leaning towers, on the corner of the small stove and in the closet, on Ohkura's clothes. He thinks that he has never seen that many books in such a small place. He never visited a library, to be fair. The TV and the internet don't exist in that strange playhouse build with pages and words, where the only furniture is a futon and a small coffee table that they have to put away when they sleep. It's too cold or too hot and constantly noisy because of the neighbors but he doesn't care, it's the closest thing to a shelter for him.

Sometimes they are studying a little in the evening, not too much because Ryo is not used to it and gets easily distracted when Ohkura is lying next to him. But he tries his best, reading the simplest books his lover has, with him, slow and hesitant. When it's too difficult, when his brain freezes before a complicated word, the other is here to help and to reward him with a kiss. If he had known that he could receive kisses like these because he can read, he would have learnt earlier.

Ryo is mellowing day after day. He knows that it's not compatible with his business but he can't help it, loving the other changes him to the core. The 'colleagues' at the gang have noticed that something is different, they start laughing at him when he clumsily trips on a pile of things during missions, because he was thinking of something else. He doesn't like that. A few weeks ago they wouldn't have dared to even mention his clumsiness. They are also a tad annoying with Ohkura.

They're foxes, they smell weakness. Ryo starts to regret having introduced the young man to them, he fears for him.

They should leave, find something else to make a living.

One cold night of december, as he is resting in Ohkura's arms, covered by many layers of duvets, he finally finds the courage to say it.

“Y'know, we have to think about the future. Like... The gang is too dangerous for you. I don't want to lose you.” He softly kisses the other's warm chest. “Now that I'm doing better with reading, maybe I can find a normal job, you see. We'd be a lot poorer but it's not like we're used to live in luxury.”

Ryo keeps his eyes low, trying to guess what his lover is thinking by listening to the rhythm of his breath. Ohkura's long fingers are brushing his back, up and down, sometimes tracing small circles between his shoulder blades.

“Why leaving ? We're making money... And I quite like the life we have now. It's a major improvement for me, you know.” he answers, laughing slightly.

“Of course I know... But I also know that something bad can happen to you. I'd hate myself if...”

He is interrupted by a languorous kiss and responds to it eagerly. The serious matters can wait for a few minutes. His lover's hands are traveling down his chest but before they reach the point of no return, he stops them.

“Listen...” He looks at Ohkura's eyes now, serious for once. “Please, listen to me. I know that world, I grew up in it. You're not made for it... They'll hurt you or even kill you one day. Let's enjoy what we have together and leave. Please.”

The young man thinks for a second and rolls his eyes.

“Alright. We'll leave. But in january... the Boss and I are on something big. We can make lots of money before resigning. Do we even resign in our job ?... Anyway, let december pass, nothing will happen in the next three weeks, right ?”

“... I guess not. In january then...”

As Ohkura resumes his caresses, satisfied with the answer he has been given, Ryo can't help but feel a cold wind engulf his heart. A senseless fear was born in his gut tonight, and the only way to forget it is to yield completely to his lover's passion.

_Death can wait … three weeks, only three weeks._

**************

He remembers that conversation as he holds his devastated stomach in pain. Death did not wait. It feels like his insides are pushing to come out and it hurts so much that he'd like to pass out and die unconscious. But life won't make him this favor. Life has already given him his present of the year, and it was Ohkura.

The silence reigns in the office now that the other is gone. When their blades had entered his soft flesh, he had said nothing. For the first time in his life, he didn't describe what was happening to him with his beloved words. He had just collapsed to the ground, voiceless, looking at his lover in the eyes, unable to understand what was happening. Ryo thinks that he died right at this moment, when himself fell on his knees and watched the other's life leaving his body, his usually luminous eyes becoming glassy.

The attackers had yelled something about the Boss' plans to rob them of their territory. He thought of that “something big” Ohkura had told him about a few days earlier. He cursed and chuckled, in shock. Why had it to happen when both of them were on guard duty ?

One of the attackers had called his name, exhorted him to fight, but he couldn't. He was kneeling on the cold floor, next to the light of his life, and pride, honor, death, nothing mattered anymore. They had looked at the couple with wry smiles as one of them kneeled next to him.

“You liked him, right ? Well, now he's gone, man.” Ryo didn't react. He was crying. The other had grabbed roughly the bangs that were falling over his eyes and pulled his head up. “Look at me, fucker. Tell me, why should I spare you ? Beg !”

“Go... to... hell.”

“You'll go before me then, give my regards to the Boss there.”

And the gangster had plunged his blade soiled with Ohkura's blood deep in his belly, countless times. He had only stopped when Ryo collapsed to the ground, still holding his lover's hand.

Now they are all gone, Death is late to the appointment. It has taken Ohkura so fast... and himself is still here, cold, crying or laughing and holding his stomach like a child who wants the pain to stop.

It diminishes only when the sun starts rising slowly to the east, casting a pink light over the office. He feels a bit of warmth, finally, as he tries to crawl to the other. Ryo lays a last trembling kiss on his lovers' beloved lips and takes his last breath with a smile.

Love has killed him softly, slowly, but he leaves thinking it was worth it, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this was too sad or difficult ... I wrote this on an impulse and cried a lot. I hesitated a lot before posting it because it's not exactly my kind of stories. But I love it... I hope that you will like it as well


End file.
